Thursday, October 20, 2016

Me at 24

Eating two cookies at once on a day where the weight of my to-do list and being a doctoral student felt almost unbearable. One of my best friends made me dinner and was so helpful and kind, and I got everything done for that day. Thanks, Wenny.
xx

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Fall "Break"

My fall break wasn't much of a break at all but it didn't even matter because Sophie was in town. Reunited after two and a half years. I don't know how we went so long without seeing each other (thank goodness for FaceTime), but I am more grateful than ever to have a friend like Sophie.
We spend a lot of our conversation, and always have, discussing health. Friends and family whom I don't regularly see always ask about my health. How I'm doing, if things have improved, you know the usual. I tell most people that I'm doing really well, they don't want the whole spiel, but I don't have to cushion it with Sophie.

This time around I found myself word-vomiting about how I'm better, but then again not really, because it's still an almost constant presence, but it's not inhibiting so I should just be complacent with it. But should I? Am I doomed to just be "complacent" with chronic pain, exhaustion, and occasional embarrassment? Somehow, lately, it's not enough to just be grateful that I'm no longer too sick to go to class or practice or hang out with my friends (though I am so grateful, of course).

It's been a less-than-stellar semester, so far, physically and emotionally and then physically again. It just got me thinking about people in general, and invisible illness in general. My sister wrote this great article about it, actually.

I'm not looking for pity. Just a space to write down my thoughts and express my gratitude to my Sophie. My heart swells when I think of the support system that I have in my friends, family, and boyfriend.

'til next time,
xx
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