Friday, May 29, 2015

When Life Clicks // Birthday Reflections

Every day I wake up, I drink coffee, I eat breakfast, I read some blogs, I get ready for the day. I get dressed, I put on make up, I practice or go to school, or work, or whatever. This is my ritual.

I love routine. I love that each morning is the same, though each day yields something different. And when my morning routine is different, well, I love that too.

Sometimes I think about my life right now. I think about how different it is from my life a year ago, or two or three years ago. I think about how much I loved my life way back then, how much I hated my life a bit later, and how much I love my life now. And how very different the feeling of love is now, from back then.

It's a weird thing to be so observant, so self-aware. I don't think most people are (which can be frustrating, but that's a whole different thing). It's a weird thing to be able to look at my life like a deck of playing cards, laid out for me to peruse whenever I'm feeling particularly happy or nostalgic. "Well this thing was good, this thing not so much, this person worth it, this one not so much", I say to myself. I look at the way things are now: the people in my life, the things I am doing, the opportunities I have, the way I can afford to live. And I am happy. Really happy. Because how lucky am I, to get to do what I want to do everyday, work with the people I get to work with, and have such incredible, real, friends? (very lucky)

Maybe it's not luck, but good karma. Maybe it's the kindness I attempt to add to other people's lives coming back to me. I don't know, maybe. Whatever it is, it's clicking. Everything is in place, and I am grateful. Grateful for my health, my people, my things, my work, all of it. Every bit.
(my favorite quote maybe ever, and what I tell myself on bad days ;) )

So today, I turn 23. The 23rd year was hard, but the most rewarding year I think I've had so far. (how cool that I can say that?!) Here's where I am now:

I have a job that I (mostly, usually) like. It's not a lot of money, but it basically allows me to be social, which is great.

I'm going back to Europe this summer! Another week in Belgium with Dr. Spring, this time ALSO with Dr. Bish. To say I am excited would be an understatement. My mother will also be meeting me in Europe to travel to Holland and England, after Belgium. I am SO spoiled, and SO stoked.

I've been struggling a bit with body image. This whole year, really. Since I haven't been getting sick much at all, I gained a fair amount of weight. Frankly I'm probably at a normal and healthy weight now, but I'm not used to my body this way and I'm certainly not used to so many of my pants not fitting...and I hate exercising. I really do, I just can't get into it. So I'm working on it, but it's like a really really slow process. (I also bought pants that fit properly; no need to try to squeeze into tiny pants and then feel like shit about yourself).

I got a new mouthpiece for my clarinet, and now I have to re-learn how to play at the level I was playing at all this year -_- Frustrating and tedious, but for the best.

That being said, this was the first year where I could actually feel the progress I made in college, and the progress I was making as a graduate student. All the frustration DOES pay off!

Living across the country from all of your family is HARD. There are times when I want nothing more than to be able to go home for a weekend and pretend I'm not an adult. But since moving to Arizona, I am more independent and self-sufficient than I have ever been (maybe out of necessity, but I like to think it's also because I am those things, ha).

The friends I've kept and made since moving are some of the best people ever, I am convinced.

Here's to 24 :)

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Becca Boo (in Arizona)

Guuuuuuuys. Finally, right? I don't know, I just haven't felt like whatever-ing, but here is the much anticipated (by my mother) blog post.

Rebecca came to visit. She got here late at night, tired and hangry AF, and the airline misplaced her bag (we picked up the next morning no problem, but still). She had, by far, the best reaction walking into my house, seeing where I live, and meeting Baby Cat. Oh my god, did she love the Baby Cat. Anyway, it was hilarious. I often forgot that she didn't really have any context for my stories or anything, because she couldn't visualize my life here and all.

For the week that she was here we hiked, we napped, we shopped a LOT (way too much, but that's what happens when your best shopping buddy is 2000 miles away). These photos are from Hieroglyphic's trail.
I think Rebecca's main goal for the trip was to win the affections of Joon. Not easily done, and it took a few days, but I think she did it.
Okay, this one may be creepy but she has the BEST eyelashes and freckles. That, and I wake up waaay earlier than she does. I was bored and she sleeps a lot.

She also dresses really well, idk.
On the Sunday that she was here, we drove out to see her boyfriend's family and helped out with his niece, who is coincidentally the cutest tiny human ever. We hiked and watched Tinker Bell and painted nails. Girly stuff, you know. She is such a ham.
And no trip to see me is complete without the botanical gardens, because I am nothing if not a creature of habit and lover of cactuses.
The day before she left, we went and trolled around Sedona for a bit. It was fun just walking around, and the weather was am-yazing.
I HATE LIVING SO FAR AWAY, IT IS THE WORST. It was, however, a wonderful and relaxing staycation for me. Boo, you know how much I miss you already. But I'm so glad you could come visit and meet my people :)
I love you!!!

p.s. Rebecca is good at snapchat

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Sister, Sister

You may be aware, but Rebecca is here! (yes, that is her real hair) Her first time here since I moved. Finally seeing where I live, meeting my friends, and most importantly, Joon. She flew in last week and leaves later this week--8 days of sister time! Pretty sure she's already sick of me.

I've been trying to take her to all the places around town I like to go; where I like to eat, some touristy stuff, a lot of shopping. Turns out that I don't get out much, so we've been trying to get creative. It's working out though, or at least, I hope it is.

I've been taking a lot of photos, but I haven't been posting. I think it'll flow when she leaves and I'm left to my own devices once again. Coping mechanism, you know.

Tempe friends: commence operation Get-Bec-to-Move-Out-Here.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

One Week of Summer

It's been a week since I've been done with school, isn't that nuts? Wasn't I JUST moving out here to start school? And now I'm halfway through a Masters degree? I don't even know anymore.

I've been thoroughly enjoying not having that much to do. Hanging out with friends, going out a lot because I don't have to wake up early (even though I often do anyway), getting ready for Rebecca's visit which begins TONIGHT?!?!? I'm so excited, life is just so good right now.

Nayoung came over to say hey to Joon the other day and snapped some of the best pictures of us ever, so here they are. (this one below is my favorite)
Is it possible to see this and not laugh? No. No it is not.

P.S. an old photo of my Dad playing baseball at the University of Oregon (go Ducks)

Happy summer!! *heart eyes*
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